Are you ready?

Today's Epiphany is going to carry a different tune from all of the others. If you are a single woman reading this then I know that it will bless you. If you are married, I hope that you can take something away as well.

Recently, I have gone to weddings and heard about so many of my acquaintances becoming engaged. I am so genuinely excited that they have each found love and happiness. My prayer is that this is who God has prepared them to be with for eternity and that their love continues to grow strong as the days and years progress. Love is such a beautiful thing. No matter how many times I am hurt, bruised, knocked down, or kick around by it, I manage to always get up dust myself off and try again. Leaving me to wonder why hasn't the one shown up. I've been diligent in not carrying baggage from one relationship to the next. So what am I doing wrong?

Well I was in the library the other day and I decided to pick up T.D. Jakes book "Before you Do?" Now I am no where near marriage right now, but if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready! So I'm planting those seeds now. I used to the single life (not being in a relationship) as an unfortunate situation until God showed me, you aren't ready yet. At the end of every past relationship, I would chalk them up to experience. My famous line is now I know what I don't want! What I still had not figured out is what I do want.

There was one quote Pastor Jakes used that got me "all the way together". It was, "stop looking for someone to complete you, look for someone to compliment you". If you are truly happy with yourself you are already complete or 100 as they say. "Marriage is not a 50/50, rather two 100's coming together to make a dynamic team". Now all of us have either said or heard someone else say that someone completes them or they are looking for someone to complete them. I don't know how you took the above quotes, but I interpret them as if I am seeking self-completion from another person, I will never master that concept. The thing that makes you attractive and keeps your relationship fresh is your individuality. You have know who you are. What you like or don't like so that you don't have to create a character to hid behind. Which most times, end up tragically. If you put your faith and trust in man, he will always let you down.

Antoher sensitive subject Pastor Jakes talks about, is remaining in control. I usually go with the flow, instead of creating the flow. I am usually chosen not the chooser. I tried to be their savior. So looking back now from the outside instead of the inside of the relationship, no wonder the didn't work out, I was toxic. I didn't know who I was, so I conformed to who I thought they needed or wanted me to be. Now don't get me wrong, I am not placing all the blame on me, but I do deserve some of it. It took me a long time to admit the part I played in the demise of my past relationships. It's so easy to find fault with someone else, but yourself? Whew, that is a true challenge. Truth is I was pretending to be their Jesus. Which was way out of line. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Stop forming inappropriate relationships with unbelievers. Can right and wrong be partners? Can light have anything in common with darkness? If the relationship causes you to negatively compromise yourself, it's not the one for you.

Not only has this book taught me about my relationship with people but, my relationship with God. See when you are in an intimate relationship with someone, you trust them. You have let down your guard and you can just be yourself. Though I have a relationship with God, I hadn't taken the relationship area of my life to Jesus. I have been leaving it truly to happenstance. It was not until I got to a point where I was about to throw up my hands and say Lord, I just give up. I give all that I have and still end up with the short end of the stick, left alone holding the bag. Lord, what am I doing wrong? That's when God said, this is the first time you have consulted me about it. How about we try it my way this time. Matthew 6:31-33 Don’t ever worry and say, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’Everyone is concerned about these things, and your heavenly Father certainly knows you need all of them. But first, be concerned about his kingdom and what has his approval. Then all these things will be provided for you. God told me, Stop putting anyone before me. Don't allow a man to seperate you from my will. If I gave you a word, dream, or vision, I need you to move or act on it. Don't allow anyone or anything to cloud your vision or distort your ability to hear my voice. We sing the gospel hymn, I Surrender All. But do we really?

Dear Heavenly Father,

We come to you today, surrendering all. All to you Lord, EVERYTHING!!!! We don't want any areas of our lives to be operating outside of your will for our lives. Father, we are seeking you like never before. We are missing something in our lives and we now know that it isn't the companionship of another person, its the companionship of you Lord. So draw closer to us Lord, our desire is to praise and worship you. We want to get to know you as you show us who we are in you. In Jesus name, Amen.

Matthew 6:34 So don’t ever worry about tomorrow. After all, tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. God is saying stop worrying about when you mate or companion is coming. Just stay close to God and submerged in his word so that you don't miss them when God sends them. Remember if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready.

Happy Friday All! Have a blessed weekend.


Do not forget to show kindness to strangers, for by doing so some have shown kindness to angels without knowing it...Hebrews 13:2